“I can only describe it as there was a sense of separation from everybody and everything. I didn’t feel like I was part of my family, even though they were a loving family—they provided for and took care of and you know, tried to teach me the rules of life, so to speak—but I totally felt apart from them, and then, throughout any socialization process, I couldn’t connect so I needed to come up with something.
The only thing, the only solution I found that worked was alcohol, drugs; fell into that kind of thing in my teenage years and lost focus of career and anything like that. I lost relationships with my family; I lost opportunities, friends, you know, they said, “No, you’re just a little out of control.”
I just didn’t want to be here anymore. It was too painful to live so there was a choice to make, and I really didn’t make it. I just said I want to live, that was my choice really.”
How can a person realize himself, if the surrounding society makes a monotonous puppet out of him?
The Creator could have set us up just like the animals and the beasts, but he did not do it to begin with, so that we would have to connect to a higher level, from which we would receive the strength and the understanding to establish the correct life among us, which would in turn provide us with the necessary knowledge, intelligence, understanding and ability to live in the Upper altruistic system above us, all of which would result in our attainment of something beyond our nature.
As kids we ask ourselves: “What are we living for?”, but later on hormones ignited by adolescence suppress this question and the will to discover the meaning and the source of life. Our sexual and intellectual aspirations lead us away from the solution to this problem. Then it arises again to disturb us. Those, who can’t fill the emptiness and demand an urgent answer to that question, find Kabbalah or, rather, are led to it from above: the time of filling the human soul comes.
We have spoken to different people, representatives of different civilizations, and I came to a solution that comfort is man’s inner perception. One can live in a golden cage and feel like he is in prison. And one can feel that “with one’s beloved, even a hut is heaven.” So, whether one has comfort or not, does not matter on its own.
For a modern person the state of comfort is the state of inner harmony, safety, equilibrium, knowledge, peace, mutual feelings, and warmth in relationships. This is the comfort that we strive to achieve. It does not matter what’s on the outside. At the end of one’s experience one understands that material attributes of existence do not mean anything.
Whether we feel depressed, empty or confused, all bad feelings appear in order to make us think about their reason and purpose. In our world, we see only the outward shell of reality. We do not see what is hidden behind nature, society, a person or the cosmos, and we cannot control any of them.
As with embroidery, the links and threads traversing all the parts of the picture can only be seen on the reverse side. Likewise, we do not see the connections between events in our reality; we only see that “something suddenly happened for some reason.”
How can I know the consequences of my actions? All of a sudden, I suffer a blow and I do not understand why it happened or where it came from. “Where did I go wrong?” “What did I do to deserve this?” And even “What’s the point of it all?”
From a very young age man starts asking about the purpose of life, but then forgets about it in the course of his life. Man cannot traumatize himself indefinitely with this unanswered question. The answer can be found only in one source – the wisdom of Kabbalah, which was available only to a chosen few throughout the centuries. Generations came and went, but only representatives of the last generations can receive the irrefragable answer to the most important question.
But even today, when Kabbalah from a secret doctrine became accessible practically to all our contemporaries, it is intended directly for those who, having matured and even grown old, do not cease to ask themselves this childish question – what is the point of my life and the life of all mankind?
People, who very sharply feel this question, come to Kabbalah. They do not feel satisfied, filled in their daily life. They suffer neither manias, nor depressions – they simply cannot reach peace of mind in this life. Why? Kabbalah gives the answer to this question.
